#8 Hawaiian Pizza

The way of the Mexican involves eating Hawaiian Pizza.  Ham and Pineapple.  Why do we like it so much?

We don’t know.

This is the greatest mystery of our culture.  It will never be solved.

Sorry,

El Borracho

#7 Raiders

Why do Mexicans love the Raiders so much?  It’s a California thing.  I’m sure they are nuts about the Cowboys in Texas.  But here, we have the good ol’ Black and Silver.  Mexicans are very loyal.  We good peoples like that.  So even if the Raiders haven’t one more than 5 games each season for like 6 years straight, it’s OK.  We stick with them.

Also, black makes you look tough.  We Mexicans pride ourselves in looking tough.  We shave our heads (Mr. Clean looked tough right?) wear black (Raiders gear), and wear baggy pants (metaphor for how big are “balls” are).  Plus, Raiders fans are just plain psycho, so if we can add fear by proxy by wearing a jersey, then hell yeah we will.

#6 Leisure Time

I haven’t updated this site in a little over a year.  I still get comments on the regular though.  Love you guys!

So why haven’t I updated for so long?  Well, part of the Mexican Way is to be lazy. enjoy your leisure time.  We like to chillax with the homies.  I’ve been working on my car, drinking bud light, and eating crazy amounts of eggs with chorrizo and nopales.  I guess you can say this blog had itself a little siesta.

I’m back PUTOS!

#5 Natural Cures

Mexicans like to believe in natural cures.  It dates back to small villages not having access to a doctor.  Some of my favorites include:

Fever- Drink 7Up

Upset Stomach- Tecate with lots of lime juice (this one works with enough doses)

Constipation- Call your mom’s friend’s Aunt who know how to do this weird massage ritual thingy.

Stuffy Nose- Grandma’s Chile Verde

Heartbreak- Suaza Hornitos, 6 pack of…you guessed it, and a radio

Hangover- Menudo.  Crudo? Try Menudo!

#4 Jeans With No Butt Pockets

A lot of Mexican girls can be found wearing these.  The content of their purses:

Eyeliner

Dark red lipstick

Metro PCS cellphone (here’s the ringtone)

Aqua Net

2 Tampax Heavy Flow Plus.  You know, for the heaviest flow days.

#3 Naming Businesses Michoacan

Michoacan is a state in Mexico. It’s also the name of every other Mexican proprietorship.

Taqueria Michoacan, Panderia Michoacan, Video Michoacan, Barberia Michoacan,  The list goes on and on.

p.s. See that beer sign?

#2 The Last Supper Painting

Mexican people predominately display this in their kitchens.  Mexicans feel good knowing that while eating posole, Jesus is never too far away.

#1 Bud Light

This beer is a staple among Mexicans.  It is required to be present at all Baby Showers, Easters, Birthdays, and First Communions.

Mexicans use this beer to celebrate, to mourn, and to marinate steaks.

While bottles are good, smart Mexicans go for the cans. Recycling them for cash is part of the Mexican way.