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Archive for June, 2013

Ever wonder why some mexican kids be running around the grocery store singing, dancing, crying, yelling, and picking their nose, somehow, magically, all at the same time? They’re all over the place like a coked up midget Robin Williams, which explains why the girls arms are so hairy, but I digress… These kids just aren’t punished anymore.

Where did we go wrong? Well, many of us older cats vato gatos got whipped and yelled at on a daily basis. Those are some deep wounds we’re still trying to heal with bud light, tattoos, carbohydrates, and shaving our heads. We’re basically Britney Spears during her crazy phase.

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Part of the healing involves not hurting our kids like our parents did. So they get chubby (carbohydrates) and a bit spoiled. On top of that, Chicano parents are pinche tired, man. Work work working at a job where you’re not allowed to sit, mowing the lawn afterwards, and finally, changing the oil in the wife’s Explorer (“I feel safer up high, bleh blah bleh mijo”) as a cool down.

The only solution is to leave the kids at home but that’s not possible. You see, the way of the Mexican, forces families to go to the store together-no matter what. Why this is, nobody knows. This mystery is right up there with the Mexican love of Hawaiian pizza. The code will never be cracked.

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